Les radis. Brassens

Chacun sait qu'autrefois les femm's convaincues d'adlutère
Se voyaient enfoncer dans un endroit qu'il me faut taire
Par modestie
Un énorme radis.
Or quand j'étais tout gosse, un jour de foire en mon village,
J'eus la douleur de voir punir d'une épouse volage
La perfidie,
Au moyen du radis.
La malheureuse fut traînée sur la place publique
Par le cruel cornard armé du radis symbolique,
Ah! Sapristi,
Mes aïeux quel radis!
Vers la pauvre martyre on vit courir les bonn's épouses
Qui soit dit entre nous, de sa débauche étaient jalouses.
Je n'ai pas dit: Jalouses du radis.
Si j'étais dans les rangs de cette avide et basse troupe,
C'est qu'à cette époqu'-là je n'avais encor' pas vu de croupe,
Ni de radis,
Ca m'était interdit.
Le cornard attendit que le forum fût noir de monde
Pour se mettre en devoir d'accomplir l'empal'ment
Lors il brandit
Le colossal radis.
La victime acceptait le châtiment avec noblesse,
Mais il faut convenir qu'elle serrait bien fort les fesses
Qui, du radis,
Allaient être nanties.
Le cornard mit l'radis dans cet endroit qu'il me faut taire,
Où les honnêtes gens ne laiss'nt entrer que des clystères.
On applaudit les progrès du radis.
La pampe du légume était seule à présent visible,
La plante était allée jusqu'aux limites du possible,
On attendit
Les effets du radis.
Or, à l'étonnement du cornard et des gross's pécores
Ell' dit à pleine voix:"Je n'aurais pas cru qu'un tel supplice
Pût en si peu de temps me procurer un tel délice!
Mais les radis
Mènent au paradis!"
Ell' n'avait pas fini de chanter le panégyrique
Du légume en question que toutes les pécores lubriques
Avaient bondi
Vers les champs de radis.
L'oeil fou,l'écume aux dents, ces furies se jetèr'nt en meute
Dans les champs de radis qui devinrent des champs d'émeute.
Y'en aura-t-y
Pour toutes, des radis?
Ell's firent un désastre et laissèrent loin derrière elles
Les ravages causés par les nuées de sauterelles.
Dans le pays,
Plus l'ombre d'un radis.
Beaucoup de maraîchers constatèrent qu'en certain nombre
Il leur manquait aussi des betterav's et des concombres
Raflés pardi
Comme des vils radis.
Tout le temps que dura cette manie contre nature,
Les innocents radis en vir'nt de vert's et de pas mûres,
Pauvres radis,
Héros de tragédie.
Lassés d'être enfoncés dans cet endoit qu'il me faut taire,
Les plus intelligents de ces légumes méditèrent.
Ils se sont dit:
"Cessons d'être radis!"
Alors les maraîchers semant des radis récoltèrent
Des melons,des choux-fleurs, des artichauts, des pomm's de terre
Et des orties
Mais pas un seul radis.
A partir de ce jour, la bonne plante potagère
Devint dans le village une des denrées les plus chères:
Plus de radis
Pour les gagne-petit.
Certain's pécor's futées dir'nt sans façon: "Nous on s'en fiche
De cette pénurie, on emploie les radis postiche
Qui garantit
Du manque de radis."
La mode du radis réduisant le nombre de mères
Qui donnaient au village une postérité, le maire,
Dans un édit
Prohiba le radis.
Un crieur annonça: "toute femme pris à se mettre
Dans l'endroit réservé au clystère et au thermomètre
Même postiche un semblant de radis.
Sera livrée aux mains d'une maîtresse couturière
Qui sans aucun délai, lui faufilera le derrière
Pour interdire l'accès du radis."
Cette loi draconienne eut raison de l'usage louche
S'absorber le radis par d'autres voies que par la bouche,
Et le radis,
Le légume maudit,
Ne fut plus désormais l'instrument de basses manoeuvres
Et n'entra plus que dans la composition des hors-d'oeuvre
Qui, à midi,
Aiguisent l'appétit.

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For scenario in point, an $eighty therapeutic therapeutic massage could be bought by the consumer for $forty by way of Groupon, and then Groupon and the retailer would break up the $forty. That is, the retailer provides a therapeutic massage valued at $eighty and will get approximately $20 from Groupon for it (beneath a fifty%/fifty% split). Or, if $240 well worth of property painting solutions is bought by the purchaser for $fifty via Groupon, then the business will get $25 and Groupon keeps $20 5. The client will get the massage, or the home painting supplier, in these illustrations, from the retailer for which they at initial paid out out $forty (or $fifty) to Groupon. There are distinct firms to which Groupon at initial did not offer its businesses, such as shooting ranges and strip golfing products nevertheless, having photographs ranges have been showcased on Groupon.

Not like labeled marketing, the provider company does not spend out any upfront benefit to just take portion: Groupon collects private specifics from all set buyers and then contacts only these purchasers, mostly by day-to-day electronic mail, who could perhaps be fascinated in a distinctive merchandise or support.

Groupon employs a huge amount of copywriters who draft descriptions for the reductions highlighted by electronic mail and on the web web site. Groupon's marketing textual articles for the 'deals' has been witnessed as a contributing issue to the recognition of the world wide web web site, showcasing a unique combine of full simple reality-checking and witty humor.

Owing to Groupon's marketplace place at present being mostly composed of feminine consumers, the bargains are frequently concentrated on the wellness, well being and class marketplaces.

There are most likely difficulties with the enterprise design. For illustration, a productive deal could briefly swamp a small business with as well a great deal of customers, jeopardizing a likelihood that clients will be dissatisfied, or that there won't be ample solution to satisfy the need to have. Gap, a massive clothes retailer, was completely ready to deal with 445,000 price reduction coupon codes in a nationwide deal (even though it seasoned server difficulties at 1 degree), but a scaled-down business could develop to be abruptly flooded with clientele. A single espresso shop in Portland, Oregon struggled with an enhance in shoppers for a few months, when it promoted in close proximity to to 1,000 Groupons on the one particular particular day it was presented, according to one report. In response to related problems, Groupon officials position out that 'deal' subscriptions should to be capped in progress to a wise quantity.

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